Am I a shadow?

I always wonder, am I only a shadow of my sister.... I always grow up with parents expecting me to be just like my sister. I always think that I need to be like her and live up to my parents' expectations. I feel like I am to be a twin of my sister, which I am not. I am never like her.. My parents always say that I am very lucky that I have a big sister to help me, while my sister grew up with no help, everyone tells me I am lucky, I admit that I do feel very lucky, but do I feel that now...? Everyone refers as "Amy's sister" I AM MARY. Can someone refer me to that someday? And is that day ever going to come? After going to Stuy I kind of feel that I am brushed aside and my sister is the big picture. My sister said this would not happen and my parents love us both equally, I do believe her. I just hope her words are right since she had more experience than me in life. I do love her no matter what and that would never change.